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  宿命
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  <time datetime="2021-05-05T07:24:05.000Z" itemprop="datePublished">2021-05-05</time>
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  <h1 id="宿-命"><a href="#宿-命" class="headerlink" title="宿    命"></a>宿    命</h1><span id="more"></span>
<ol>
<li>我靠在昏暗、潮湿的小矮墙上，我正在思考我的人生——我是一只猪。我们祖辈都一样，有着极其悲惨的宿命。<br>宿命，宿命。</li>
<li>我一生不愁吃，不愁穿，我只需要吃好睡好，每天重复着同样的事，日复一日……看着同伴们渐渐膘肥的身材，我却始终壮不起来，我有着自己的思想。我不愿臣服于我的宿命，因为我深知，我的自由之日便是我受死之时。</li>
<li>夜幕降临，我做了一个梦，梦见了我被屠夫送进了屠宰场。那儿陈列着一行一行的猪头，一列一列的猪肉，我明白，我们身上的猪头、猪肉、猪肠通通不是我们的，除了我们自己的灵魂。我一个激灵醒了过来。</li>
<li>夜色朦胧，我站在猪圈门口，挥洒冷汗。同伴一个一个都睡着了，我沐浴着从断崖处吹来的山风，我的灵魂在内心躁动不安。我似乎看见了狼在断崖上嗥叫。我也情不自禁，摆正了姿态，嗥叫了一声，同伴们瑟瑟发抖，痴迷的眼神望着我，显得很害怕。他们一定以为我患上了猪瘟，或者以为我是一只披着猪皮的狼。我没有解释什么，因为我只是顺从我内心的灵魂罢了。</li>
<li>我决定要逃跑。</li>
<li>“什么？”同伴们瞪着眼睛惊恐地看着我，此刻的我站在猪圈门口，继续沐浴我的清风。我知道他们不会理解我，就像人们不理解韩寒一样，我和他一样，都是叛逆的少年。就像汪国真说的：要输就输给追求，要嫁就嫁给幸福。我的内心似乎更坚定了。</li>
<li>明天，明天。</li>
<li>红艳的晚霞如期而至，浓薄的雾气没忘记给大地披上一层灰色的荧幕。我趁着夜色，拱开了猪圈门，玩命似的往断崖飞奔，迎面来的是凉爽的清风。逃跑时我回头望了一眼，看到了我的母亲，从她的眼神里我看到的肯定的目光，似乎是我做了她想做却又不敢做的事情。</li>
<li>断崖的清风不像猪圈，猪圈里的风夹杂着湿气和污臭。我摆正了狼的英姿，不断嗥叫，因为我战胜了我的宿命，我顺从了我内心的灵魂。</li>
<li>心里有个声音一直在嘀咕：“你战胜了你自己的宿命，多么值得啊！”</li>
<li>夜幕下的断崖，依稀可见几颗星星，这勇敢的灵魂花，此时此刻，开得到处都是。</li>
<li>点评</li>
<li>考生同学“化身为猪”，暗合当年鲁迅“铁屋子”的寓言，此文立意甚高。用“思想——逃逸——自由”的线索统领全文，结构也精巧。整体文字流畅自然，用词不浮夸，断句有节奏，可见该考生在文字上经历过较多的自我训练，所谓语感。略显不足的是，引用过气心灵鸡汤大师汪国真的警句，格调不够高远，未能给整篇加分。至于“断崖”，亦属残酷青春叙事，没必要苛求。整体而言，属于一个“合适的满分”，贴切写出了正处成年期、追求思想独立期的青少年所思所想。<br>——袁复生《潇湘晨报》周末副刊版主编</li>
<li>作者采用拟人的手法，运用第一人称来构思全篇，写一头猪无法接受祖辈的宿命，决心从猪圈中逃出去，并最终出逃成功的事情。文章心理描写细腻逼真，将一头猪的思想和情感一一展现出来，让我们在阅读中，由同情转为敬佩，从而油然地生出赞赏之情。另外，作者善用隐喻，如“狼”这一意象的反复使用，暗指猪心的叛逆。</li>
<li>作为一篇记叙文，难能可贵的是，作者能够很好紧扣主题来叙述，使文章的内容与作文材料之间形成关联。作为一篇应试之作，作者在文中能够如此大胆地展示自己的想象力和创造力，实属不易。——雅礼中学骨干教师胡岭（参与湖南2013年高考作文评卷工作）</li>
<li>本文选材新颖，从一只猪的视角展开对于“值得”的看法，让人耳目一新，容易抓人眼球，必定会给略显枯燥的看卷过程增添一丝趣味。其次，文章将主人公的心理描述得十分到位，短短八百字却将其思想转变刻画得入木三分。不得不提的是作者熟练的对比手法，主人公其祖辈们的对比，与其他猪的对比，与其说是为了饱满情节，不如说是给勇于变革者以极高赞美。<br>——湖南一高考考生</li>
<li>作者有着超高的命中率，首先是用词准确，每一处描写都落到了实处，朴实的语言保证了弹无虚发。对事物特征也抓得很准，比如，对猪的生活进行概括，好吃好睡、渐渐膘肥、却壮不起来，就抓住了猪的众多特征中比较生动和具有代表性的一个。最重要的是这样一种天赋——对节奏和每句话出现的位置，有着直觉般准确的判断，例如这个精彩的开头，直接而果断，“我是一只猪”就像一个出现在最准确位置上的最准确的音符，它定下了全篇的节奏和基调。<br>——彭剑斌，小说家，著有短篇小说集《我去钱德勒威尔参加舞会》<br>宿命本是天注定，却又奈何不了你我。我们以旁观者的身份看待文中事，一不小心却成了文中人。<br>——长沙市21中高二K1102班学生  李  达</li>
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<script src="/js/busuanzi-2.3.pure.min.js"></script>
 
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<script src="/js/clickBoom2.js"></script>
 
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<link rel="stylesheet" href="/css/clipboard.css">
 <script src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/npm/clipboard@2/dist/clipboard.min.js"></script>
<script>
  function wait(callback, seconds) {
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  }
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      copyHtml += '<button class="btn-copy" data-clipboard-snippet="">';
      copyHtml += '<i class="ri-file-copy-2-line"></i><span>COPY</span>';
      copyHtml += '</button>';
      $(".highlight .code pre").before(copyHtml);
      $(".article pre code").before(copyHtml);
      var clipboard = new ClipboardJS('.btn-copy', {
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      clipboard.on('success', function(e) {
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        let $span = $($btn.find('span'));
        $span[0].innerText = 'COPIED';
        
        wait(function () { // 等待两秒钟后恢复
          $icon.removeClass('ri-checkbox-circle-line');
          $icon.addClass('ri-file-copy-2-line');
          $span[0].innerText = 'COPY';
        }, 2000);
      });
      clipboard.on('error', function(e) {
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        $btn.addClass('copy-failed');
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        let $span = $($btn.find('span'));
        $span[0].innerText = 'COPY FAILED';
        
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  }(window, document);
</script>
 
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<script src="/js/dz.js"></script>
 
<script>
  if (window.mermaid) {
    mermaid.initialize({ theme: "forest" });
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</script>


    
    <div id="music">
    
    
    
    <iframe frameborder="no" border="1" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" width="200" height="52"
        src="//music.163.com/outchain/player?type=2&id=421563590&auto=0&height=32"></iframe>
</div>

<style>
    #music {
        position: fixed;
        right: 15px;
        bottom: 0;
        z-index: 998;
    }
</style>
    
  </div>
</body>

</html>